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 Wednesday, January 12 2005 @ 06:57 PM PST

Are you a Manarchist???

   

FeminismSubmitted by HPWombat:

ARE YOU A MANARCHIST QUESTIONNAIRE

General Questions:

I. Do you ascribe to either:
A) Passive-Aggressive Patriarchy:" (often come across as a
victim/helpless/in
need/dependent and get women in your life to be your physical and
emotional
caretakers?

to buy you things? to take care of your responsibilities?
pick up your slack? use guilt or manipulation to get out of your
responsibilities
and equal share of the work? do you treat your female partner like a
"mom" or your secretary?)

B) "Aggressive Patriarchy:" (Do you often take charge? Assume that a
woman can’t do something right so you do it for her? Believe that only
you can take care of things? Think that you always have the right
answer?
Treat your female partner like she’s helpless, fragile, a baby or weak?
Do you put down your partner or minimize her feelings? Do you belittle
her opinions?)

2. How do you react when women in your life name something or someone
as patriarchal or sexist? Do you think of her or call her a "PC Thug,"
"Feminazj," "Thin-skinned," "Overly-Sensitive," a "COINTELPRO-esque"
or "Un-fun?"

3. Do you see talking about patriarchy as non-heroic, a waste of time,
trouble making, or divisive?

4. If a woman asks your opinion, do you assume she must not know
anything
about the subject?

5. Do you believe that women have "natural characteristics" which are
Inherent in our sex such as "passive," "sweet," "caring," "nurturing,"
"considerate," "generous," "weak," or "emotional?"

6. Do you make fun of "typical" men or "frat boys" but not ever check
yourself to see if you behave in the same ways?

7. Do you take on sexism and patriarchy as a personal struggle working
to fight against it in yourself, in your relationships, in society,
work,
culture, subcultures, and institutions?

8. Do you say anything when other men make sexist or patriarchal
comments?
Do you help your patriarchal and sexist friends to make change and help
educate them? Or do you continue friendships with patriarchal and
sexist
men and act like there is no problem.

Activism Questions

9. As a. man, is being a. feminist a priority to you? Do you see being
a feminist as revolutionary or radical?

10. Do you think that you define what is radical? Do you suffer from
or contribute to macho bravado" or ‘subpoena envy? (I.e. defining a
true
or "cool" and respectable activist as someone who has: been arrested,
done lockdowns, scaled walls, hung banners, done time for their actions
argued or fought with police, done property alterations, beat up nazi
boneheads, etc.)?

11. Do you take something a woman said, reword it and claim it as your
own idea/opinion?

12. Are you taking on the "shit" or "grunt" work in your organizing?
(I.e.: Cooking. cleaning. set up, clean up phone calls, email lists,
taking notes, doing support work, sending mailings, providing
childcare?)
Are you aware of the fact. that women often are taking on this work
with
no regard or for their efforts?

13. Do you take active step to make your activist groups safe and
comfortable
places for women?

14. If you are trying to get more women involved in your activist
projects,
do you try to engage them by telling them what’ to do or why they
should
join your group?

15. Do you ever find yourself monitoring and limiting your behavior and
speech in meetings and activist settings because you don't want’ to
take
up too much space or dominate the group? Are you aware of the fact that
women do this all the time?

16. Do you pay attention to group process and consensus building in
groups
or do you tend to dominate and take charge (maybe without even
realizing
it)?

Sexual/Romantic Relationships and Issues

17. Do you make jokes or negative comments about the sex lives of women
or sex work?

18. Can you only show affection and be loving to your partner in front
of friends and family or only in private?

19. Do you discuss the responsibility for preventing contraception and
getting STD screening prior to sexual contact?

20. Do you repeatedly ask or plead with women for what you want in
sexual
situations? Are you aware that unless this is a mutually consented upon
scenario/game that this is considered a form of coercion?

21. During sex, do you pay attention to your partner’s face and body
language to see if she is turned on? Engaged, or just lying there? Do
you ask a woman who she wants during sex? What turns her on?

22. Do you ask for consent?

23. Do you know if your partner has a sexual abuse, rape, or physical
abuse history?

24. Do you stay with your partner in a relationship for comfort and
security?
Sex? Financial or emotional caretaking? If you’re not completely happy
or "in love" with your partner anymore? Even though you don’t think it
will ultimately work out? Because you’re afraid or unable to be alone?
Do you suddenly end relationships when a "new" or "better" woman comes
along?

25. Do you jump from relationship to relationship? Overlap them? Or do
you take space and time for yourself in between each relationship to
reflect on the relationship and your role in it? Do you know how to be
alone? How to be single?

26. Do you cheat on your partners?

27. If your girlfriend gets on your case for patriarchal behavior or
wants to try to work on the issues of patriarchy in your relationship,
do you creak up with her or cheat on her and find another woman who
will
put up with your shit?

28. Do you agree to romantic commitment and responsibility and then
back
out of these situations?

29. Do you understand menstruation?

30. Do you make fun of women or write them off as "PMS-ING?"

Friendship Questions

31. Do you tend to set the standard and plans for fun or do you work
with the others in the group, including women to see what they want to
do?

32. Do you talk to your female friends about things you don't talk to
your male friends about especially emotional issues?

33. Do you constantly fall in love with your female friends Are you
friends
with women until you find out that they are not in love with you too
and then end the friendships? Are you only friends with women who are
in monogamous or committed relationships with other people?

34. Do you come on to your female friends even jokingly?

35. Do you only talk to your female friends (and not your male friends)
about your romantic relationships or problems in those relationships?


36. Do you find yourself only attracted to "Anarcho-Crusty Punk
Barbie",
Alterna-Grrrl Barbie," or Hardcore-Grrrl Barbie?" (The idea here being
that the only women you arc attracted to fit mainstream beauty
standards
but just dress and do their hair alternatively and maybe have piercings
and tattoos) Do you question and challenge your internalized ideals of
mainstream beauty ideals for women?

37. Have you ever heard of or discussed "sizeism" and do you think it
is low on the oppression scale?

38. Are you aware of the fact that ALL WOMEN, even women in radical
communities,
live under the CONSTANT PRESSURE and OPPRESSION of mainstream
patriarchal
beauty standards?

39. Are you aware of the fact that many women in radical communities
have had and are currently dealing with eating disorders?

40. Do you make fun of "model-types" or "mainstream" women for their
appearance?

Domestic/Household Questions

41. When was the last time you walked into your house, noticed that
something
was misplaced/dirty/etc. AND did something about it (didn’t just walk
by it, over it, away from it or leave a nasty note about it) even if
it wasn’t your chore or responsibility?

42. Are you constantly amazed by the magical "food fairy" who
mysteriously
acquires food, brings it home, puts it away, prepares it in meal form
and then cleans up afterwards?

43. Do you contribute equally to domestic life and work?

44. How many of the following activities do you contribute to in your
home (this is a partal list of what it takes to run a household):
A: Sweep and mop floors and clean carpets
B: Wash and put away dishes
C: Clean stove, countertops, sinks and appliances if they are messy and
each time after you have prepared food
D: Collect money, do food shopping, put away food and make meals for
people you live with
E: Do house laundry (kitchen towels, bathroom hand towels, washable
rugs,
etc.)
F: Clean up common room spaces, even if it’s not your chore
G: Pick up other’s slack
H: Deal with garbage, recycling, and compost
I: Take care of bills, rent, utilities
J: Deal with the landscaping and gardening
K: Clean bathrooms and make sure bathroom is clean after you use it
L: Feed, clean up after, and take care of housepets

Children & Childcare

45. Do you spend time with kids? If you do, do you spend time with
children
(yours or anyone's) in a way that is gendered? (do certain things with
boys and other things with girls?

46. If you are a father, do you CO-parent your children? (Spend equal
time AND energy AND effort AND money to raise them)?

47. Do you make childcare a priority? (at both activist events and in
daily life)

48. Do you help make the lives of single mothers in your life and
community
easier by finding out if and how you can assist?

49. Have you politicized your ideas about child rearing and parenthood
radical communities? Do you believe that individuals who are in the
movement
have children or that the movement has children?

Multi-Category Questions:

50. When was the last time you showed a woman how to do a task rather
than doing it for her and assuming she couldn’t do it?

51. When was the last time you asked a woman to show you how to do a
task?

52. Do you get emotional needs met by other women, whether or not you
are in a romantic relationship with them? Or do you cultivate caring,
nurturing relationships with other men in which you can discuss your
feelings and get your needs met by them?

53. If a woman discusses with you or calls you out on your patriarchy,
do you make an effort to be emotionally present? Listen? Not
emotionally
shut down? Not get defensive? Think about what she said? Admit you
fucked
up? Take responsibility/make reparations for the mistakes you made?
Discuss
your feelings and ideas with her? Apologize? Work harder on your own
shit to make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes again with her
or other women?

54. Do you look inside yourself to find out why you fucked up in these
relationships and work to both change your behavior and be a better
anti-patriarchy
ally in the future?

55. Do you organize regular house meetings or activist meetings to
resolve
conflict in the house/group?

56. Do you use intimidation, yelling, getting in someone’s physical
space,
threats or violence to get your point across? Do you create and
atmosphere
or violence around women or others to threaten them (i.e.: throw
things,
break things, yell and scream, threaten, attack, tease or terrorize the
animals or pets of women in your life)?

57. Do you physically, psychologically, or emotionally abuse women?

58. Do the women in your life (mothers, sisters, partners, housemates,
friends, etc.) have to "remind" you or "nag" you or "yell" at you in
order for you to get off your ass and take care of your
responsibilities?


59. Do you talk to other men about patriarchy and your part in it?

60. When was the last time you thought about or talked about any of
these
issues other than after reading this questionnaire?

Scoring: ALL MEN need to work on issues of patriarchy, sexism and
misogyny.
However, this questionnaire may point out to you areas of particular
focus or concentration for your own anti-patriarchal/sexist/misogynist
process and development.




What's Related

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Are you a Manarchist??? | 17 comments | Create New Account
The following comments are owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible for what they say.
comment by count rockula
Authored by: Anonymous on Friday, November 23 2001 @ 01:33 PM PST
I have some other questions that could be added...this is in now way directed at or intended to insult the people who wrote it, at
all, but these are some things i've for a long time noticed about quite a few guys who fancy themselves "leftists"...

1.) are you really into being a "nice boy"? do you like to act really sensitive, especially around women?

2.) are you more interested and concerned with women and girls liking you, thinking you're a feminist, and/or getting crushes on you, than
you are in challenging patriarchy and sexism?

3.) does your idea of "free love" actually mean "sexual conquest", no matter how nicely you try to present it to the world, and to yourself?

4.) do you criticize and refrain from engaging in typical macho posturing in favour of more subtle, and less easily identifiable forms of aggression? does your machismo, sexism, and patriarchal thinking manifest itself in
other ways such as, passive aggression, being condescending, being manipulative, actively pursuing women who are already in exclusive
relationships [refer to question #3], taking every opportunity you can to call other men on their sexism and patriarchal thinking?

also, if confronted on this, do you resort to accusations of machismo and "typical male behaviour" on the part of the man raising these issues with you?

5.) [race, class, and gender] do you spend loads of time criticizing other subcultures [for example hip hop] for sexism and patriarchal attitudes , without looking too much into how fucked up punk, emo, and hardcore are?

6.) when in the company of others, do you force yourself to become indignant around issues of sexism, patriarchy and homophobia?
comment by raindog
Authored by: Anonymous on Saturday, November 24 2001 @ 09:55 AM PST
Scoring: ALL MEN need to work on issues of patriarchy, sexism and misogyny.
*********

So if matriarchy were the dominant trend, then ALL WOMEN would need to work on issues of matriarchy, sexism and misogyny?

I object. Are men born with their heads full of patriarchical sexist misogynist ideas? No. Neither are women(womyn for pc considerations), and yet there's plenty of patriarchical sexist misogynist women as well as men in this patriarchical sexist misogynist culture. But too, there are women and men who escaped the programming, either by their own initiative or by the words and actions of those who were central to these men and women's formative years of childhood.

SO, it is inaccurate to make a blanket statements- "ALL men" or "All womyn." Divisive as well. There exist cultures that are not patriarchical or matriarchical sexist and misogynist. Cultures consisting of both women and men. So the culture is the source of trouble, not the gender of the people involved.
comment by the dictionary
Authored by: Anonymous on Saturday, November 24 2001 @ 05:52 PM PST
Um, raindog, just for the record, 'misogyny' means 'hate of women'... I think you misued the word a few times up there.
comment by giuseppe
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, November 25 2001 @ 09:32 AM PST
while i appreciate that the author(s) of the so-called questionnaire took the time to catalog a whole bunch of mundane problems that are based in sexist and partriarchal thinking/programming, i find it insulting and authoritarian to formulate so-called questions with the desired or correct answers implicit in them. of the sixty original questions, i found only two that i thought were actually good ones. "#4. If a woman asks your opinion, do you assume she must not know anything about the subject?" is an excellent question; this is where the so-called questionnaire excels--in the more subtle forms of sexism. also #23: "Do you know if your partner has a sexual abuse, rape, or physical abuse history?" this again is an excellent question, since it didn't do what the other questions do--there's no implicit desired answer that goes along with it. the more salient question is: how does it make you feel to know that your partner has such a history? what are you doing about it in your relationship? are you sensitive to post-traumatic stress that can be triggered by similarities in situations that you may find yourselves in? as for the questions about living situations and sharing tasks, i had to laugh and cry about the nightmare housemates the author(s) must have had or currently have. kick those losers out of your house for bakunin's sake! and way to go count rockula; those follow-ups are great.
comment by ratchet
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, November 25 2001 @ 09:30 PM PST
some very important questions. will no doubt
ruffle a few too-unruffled feathers.

so it's too bad there's also some implicit
sexism. for instance, questions 24 thru 26
are things EVERYONE should be asking themselves.
to imply that men are the only ones who get
dependent, manipulative, or unfaithful in
relationships is fucking absurd.
comment by raindog
Authored by: Anonymous on Monday, November 26 2001 @ 12:31 AM PST
Dear dictionary: Not at all. Self-hatred is not uncommon among people with low self-esteem.
comment by HPWombat
Authored by: Anonymous on Monday, November 26 2001 @ 01:15 PM PST
I find it rather obsurd that a great deal of the replies to this piece don't understand feminism in the least, nor the problems they are trying to solve. Instead of taking it and saying "yes, these are some problems that are occuring" most of the replies have been defensive, saying "well men aren't the only ones..blah blah blah". Read some feminist theory and history and think on it if you see yourself reacting to this piece in much the same manner. Feminism is trying to expose a systematic problem called Patriarchy, some of its symptoms are included in this questionaire, the reason these symptoms take the shape they do is not exposed in this piece, primarily because it was designed for readers already familiar with some aspects of feminism in the activist community.

Women are treated as inferiors in society, but not in the same way that workers or racial minorities are. Their appearances are objectified, they are demeaned to performing domestic "kleggish" (undesirable work), and exploited economically when in the workplace. They are looked at as weak, unintelligent, and helpless by patriarchical society. To say that you value women as equals means little when you still contribute to the social structures that hold women down.
comment by ISO guy
Authored by: Anonymous on Tuesday, February 19 2002 @ 04:53 PM PST
Very, very insightful, Chocula. You do see through the bullshit.
comment by Phranky
Authored by: Anonymous on Wednesday, August 07 2002 @ 09:40 AM PDT
What an absolute load of crap!

Did have a chuckle though, nothing like listening to the rantings of spoiled, middle and upper class Daddy's girls whining about how oppressed they are.

Hah!

This so-called "questionaire" is nothing more than a misandrist, condescending pile of feminasti crap!

However wrote this sure has one big sense of themselves - what, they think every man on the planet should tip-toe around women so we don't offend them in any way.

Tell you what, you want equality - that means you get the good and the bad - and we all know feminism wants all the fighter pilot jobs, CEO and everything else but is still content to let the men be the garbage pickers, sewer workers and miners.

What a load of crap - you want equality - you get to be told to go "f*ck yourself" just like the rest of the world.

Hahaha - what a typical load of North American, middle and upper class white girl feminist whining - "Daddy, my BMW broke down and the nasty mechanic was mean to me and I can't afford to pay because I'm exploited! Help me! Whaaa!"

Ohhh feminism, it brings me such joy to laugh at what a ridiculous lot of crazies it attracts and the crap that they actually come up with and believe!

comment by hpwombat
Authored by: Anonymous on Saturday, August 17 2002 @ 04:29 AM PDT
You are truly ignorant. This is exposing some paradigms that women are often the victim of within the activist community and beyond. Everything you've said is bullshit dismissing problems that real people often face, which you obviously aren't a victim of, otherwise you would have a different tone to your writing.
comment by Panchungo
Authored by: Anonymous on Tuesday, February 25 2003 @ 06:24 PM PST
Hey Pranky... it's "whoever" not "however"
"However wrote this sure has one big sense of themselves - "

Stupid!
comment by Dirtypinko
Authored by: Anonymous on Friday, April 25 2003 @ 06:38 PM PDT
Hey its not all white girl nonsense. Im a guy I totally agree with all of this. The intolerant comments are just proof of whow much we as a movement need to work on these social problems. There was a few on there I need to work on myself under the friends section. I appreciate this post and its well rounded. To that hatemonger biggot Phranky, open your mind or shut your mouth!
comment by
Authored by: Anonymous on Tuesday, May 06 2003 @ 12:30 AM PDT
"nothing more than a misandrist, condescending pile of feminasti crap!"

Yeah, we already learned about that feminazi thing in the questionnaire, but what is 'misandrist'? I suppose you mean misanthropist? How amusing that 'man-hater' actually means 'human-hater'! Are women a lesser species, then?
comment by incunabula
Authored by: Anonymous on Wednesday, November 26 2003 @ 10:40 AM PST
I tink there should be a test like this one called:

Are you a Feminazi?

Don't get me wrong. Liberation - and that includes fem liberation, of course - is the highest goal I aspire to, but personally I think many of the womyn out there are doing just as crappy a job as the men.

I have seen, read and met so many maternalistic, commandeering, unrelenting, peevish and generally violently frustrated self-appointed feminists, that I have to say I am glad they are not on my side.

The again, all kinds of sickos of male gender claim to preserve my interests as a man (oh yes, I have that unfortunate genetic defect of one Y chromosome) and I don't want any of them on my side either, because I have no interests "as a man" only as an inhabitant of this planet and member of a certain species quite generally.

I wish those self appointed liberators of their gender would concentrate on liberating all of that terran species instead of a one-sided approach where many protagonists act like they would like to "finally get their turn at the helm" or "show to the men that womyn can rule the world just as well", because any syste of predominance will inevitably create suffering.

The men alive today are not responsible for the instigation of patriarchy, so why should they have to pay for the failings of their fathers while they could be allies for the cause?

What is it we want? Womyn being allowed to equally exploit our planet's resources? To equally subjugate others for their personal gain? To equally make it big in business, politics, the military or the different religious institutions?
To equally die in wars, rape, burn, pillage and kill? Or do we want to achieve a more highly developed form of social community life together?
Personally I have seen in the relations I have with womyn, that living, loving and working together on an equal basis is not only the correct but also the most feasible way of doing things. I am glad that there are after all some men and womyn out there who can do that, and none of them call themselves feminists, and many of them for the same reason I wouldn't either.

It is a good thing that many womyn have collectively learned over time that they do not have to follow the lead of men anymore because they can be the forgers of their own destiny.
Now - IMHO - the time has come to realize, that neither of us has to follow the lead of womyn either.

None of us should have to step back. We should all take a step forward, and another, and so forth. Many are on that path already. Why not join for a common future?
comment by random
Authored by: Anonymous on Friday, July 02 2004 @ 05:14 AM PDT
talk about missing the point.

this questionnaire is not a competition - you noticed there are no points to award??

the first point of the questions is to analyse your own honest responses. What do you feel, why do you feel it, what influences you? sit quietly and think about each question/answer for a few minutes.

the second point of the questions is to demonstrate how many 'little' things are an everyday kick in the face. nothing here is a 'poor me' - every single question is based on a thousand actual experiences each woman has.

comment by toastormulch
Authored by: Anonymous on Friday, August 27 2004 @ 01:38 PM PDT
These questions smell of Soviet Union! Selfcensorship, intollerance, witch hunt, agitprop brainwashing at its worst...
comment by TrollE
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, October 10 2004 @ 12:18 AM PDT
i filled out the quiz on the crimethinc boards in March 04


ARE YOU A MANARCHIST QUESTIONNAIRE
General Questions:

I. Passive-Aggressive Patriarchy:
i do sometimes act as tho im in need emotional supporter mom type.

B) "Aggressive Patriarchy:
i often take charge

2. i often feel "we have to go through this again? im trying my goddamn hardest to make everything good for everyone and all that happens is people keep pointing out how much im not doing. fuck this is going to be fun"

5. i sometimes believe that people have "natural characteristics" which are Inherent in our humanity such as "passive," "sweet," "caring," "nurturing," "considerate," "generous," "weak," or "emotional", but also the "opposites" which compliments these traits aswell.

6. i see what i dont like and try to keep that in mind when i interact with folks

7. yes!

8. i talk to my friends often about sexism and patriarchy but im not quite sure they really listen

Activism Questions

9. Bah! now we come into an iffy question. im all for identifying however you wish, but thats it- "man" as it is traditionally construed doesnt suit me. i dont like it so i try to avoid using sex to describe certain things. come on! lets be gendernull

10. what a silly question. sorry. i wont attack anymore.

11. no

12. yes i do it, yes i am aware, yes i make a big deal about it, no my friends (who identify as women or men) dont give a damn.

13. safe and comfortable for everyone!!! i see it like this:
i identify as queer. make it safe for queer folks, but then this also connects to womyn, folks of colour, older folks, and everyone else.

14. we try to set up programs that would be interesting to women and those that love them.

15. yes i do, but i think we all need to learn to speak. i find when we offer time to others to speak, nothing gets said. im serious. long three minutes of us (grrls and boisand inbetween) trying to get others to share. all folks are afraid to share. its depressing.

16. we dont really go on concensus. we do as we please. we find that that way, no one has to lay down what they want just cause someone else doesnt want it.

Sexual/Romantic Relationships and Issues

17. no.

18. both, but i need a partner first.

19. duh!?

20. i think the questions are getting goofy again.

21. lol. my god. its like asking to do pay attention to the food on the stove while yer cooking it? of course you do!

22. no, im too afraid usually to even get that close

23. when i've had partners, i've known

24. this is implying that all relationships are for the same things. they arent.

25. i ..well.. all of them, and none of them. depends on if im with someone or not.

26. what do you define as cheating? lie to them? no.

27. lol oh of course! no. im usually the one that brings up patriarchy, and wouldnt you know it, its sometimes seen as me being weak.

28. if i want to back out, then i would back out no matter.

29. sometimes.

30. sure i make fun of my friends. but not just for being womyn. and i do believe i know when to stop and what to make fun of, and when.
i tend to be "silly" in my comedy so the making fun of is usually irrelevant.

Friendship Questions

31. i ask around, then if no one wants to do what im doing, and i dont want to do what they are doing, then we just do our own things. why be chained to someone elses fun?

32. yes. i find the men i talk to evade talks like this, as if they dont know how to talk, or they arent allowed to.

33. yes. i constantly fall in love with your female friends. i constantly fall in love with strangers too!

34. yeah right. it is scary enough to look them in the eye sometimes.

35. generally. i have more female friends so this kinda flawed for balance.

36. i like frumpy librarian types. wallflowers. they rule my world. we can sit and be shy together.

37. i dont think ive heard of it, but i might be able to get what it is. breast size or penis size or height or "yer too fat"ism?

38. yeah, if they accept those ideals as ideals.

39. sure! arent we all? come on, radical womyn arent all mothers (<-- superwomyn. and so no one gets offended, my main example is my mother. try as you might, but shes the best woman on earth. beat that sucka!)

40. i dont think i make fun of it, but question it. its kindof ugly. bones are for dead folk.

Domestic/Household Questions

41. a long time ago. my house is maintained by everyone that lives here. i have lower standards than everyone so i think my areas tend to be messier. that also means that i rarely notice the "mess".

42. i am. i never knew i was such a good cook. and the dumpster been providin' lately.

43. no.

44. clean carpets, Wash and put away dishes, Clean stove, countertops, sinks and appliances, do food getting, put away food and make meals for people you live with (most won't eat it but yeah i offer) sometimes i Clean up common room spaces, even if it's not your chore, Pick up others slack (only when it comes to the kitchen or the bathroom) Deal with garbage, recycling, Deal with the landscaping and gardening, Clean bathrooms and make sure bathroom is clean after you use it

Children & Childcare

47. i understand it, but usually over look it.

48. my mum. i bring home the nonmeat bacon!

49. sure.. but not like normal "has children". i think its a little different. more respect.

Multi-Category Questions:

50. the other day my friend laura had to check her mail. i told her how to do it as she did it. "you can catch a person a fish, and you'll feed them for a day, but you can teach them how, and you've fed them for life"

51. im going trainhopping for the first time and a woman is going to teach me!!!

52. sure. i get emotional needs met by other women, whether or not i'm in a romantic relationship with them. deary, i try my damndest to cultivate caring, nurturing relationships with other men in which you can discuss your feelings and get your needs met by them, but i think most men are fraid of the homo's, or im just to shy to talk to them.

53. i do make an effort to be emotionally present, to Listen, to Not emotionally shut down. i do get defensive, i do Think about what she said, i dont always Admit you fucked up, if i feel i need to, i Take responsibility/make reparations for the mistakes i made. i definately Discuss my feelings and ideas with her. sometimes i Apologize, and Work harder on my own shit to make sure that i dont make the same "mistakes" again with her or other people.

54. yes i look inside myself to find solutions to all oppression.

55. no, not really. within my house im not usually a part of it. i am sidelined to it all. i dont feel comfortable with everyone.
in activist cases, if there is a problem, it is dealt with immediately as opposed to waiting to take care of it.

56. no.

57. no.

58. my mum sometimes has to nag me, but thats it.

59. i talk to other men about patriarchy and our part in it

60. maybe four days ago.

fuck Scoring
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