I. Do you ascribe to either: A)
Passive-Aggressive Patriarchy:" (often come across as a
victim/helpless/in need/dependent and get women
in your life to be your physical and
emotional caretakers?
to buy you things?
to take care of your responsibilities? pick up your
slack? use guilt or manipulation to get out of your
responsibilities and equal share of the work? do
you treat your female partner like a "mom" or your
secretary?)
B) "Aggressive Patriarchy:" (Do you
often take charge? Assume that a woman can’t do
something right so you do it for her? Believe that
only you can take care of things? Think that you
always have the right answer? Treat your female
partner like she’s helpless, fragile, a baby or
weak? Do you put down your partner or minimize her
feelings? Do you belittle her opinions?)
2.
How do you react when women in your life name something
or someone as patriarchal or sexist? Do you think of
her or call her a "PC Thug," "Feminazj,"
"Thin-skinned," "Overly-Sensitive," a
"COINTELPRO-esque" or "Un-fun?"
3. Do you see
talking about patriarchy as non-heroic, a waste of
time, trouble making, or divisive?
4. If a
woman asks your opinion, do you assume she must not know
anything about the subject?
5. Do you
believe that women have "natural characteristics" which
are Inherent in our sex such as "passive," "sweet,"
"caring," "nurturing," "considerate," "generous,"
"weak," or "emotional?"
6. Do you make fun of
"typical" men or "frat boys" but not ever
check yourself to see if you behave in the same ways?
7. Do you take on sexism and patriarchy as a
personal struggle working to fight against it in
yourself, in your relationships, in society,
work, culture, subcultures, and institutions?
8. Do you say anything when other men make
sexist or patriarchal comments? Do you help your
patriarchal and sexist friends to make change and
help educate them? Or do you continue friendships
with patriarchal and sexist men and act like
there is no problem.
Activism Questions
9. As a. man, is being a. feminist a priority to
you? Do you see being a feminist as revolutionary or
radical?
10. Do you think that you define what
is radical? Do you suffer from or contribute to macho
bravado" or ‘subpoena envy? (I.e. defining a
true or "cool" and respectable activist as
someone who has: been arrested, done lockdowns,
scaled walls, hung banners, done time for their
actions argued or fought with police, done property
alterations, beat up nazi boneheads, etc.)?
11. Do you take something a woman said, reword
it and claim it as your own idea/opinion?
12.
Are you taking on the "shit" or "grunt" work in your
organizing? (I.e.: Cooking. cleaning. set up, clean
up phone calls, email lists, taking notes, doing
support work, sending mailings, providing
childcare?) Are you aware of the fact. that women
often are taking on this work with no regard or
for their efforts?
13. Do you take active step
to make your activist groups safe and
comfortable places for women?
14. If you
are trying to get more women involved in your activist
projects, do you try to engage them by telling
them what’ to do or why they should join your
group?
15. Do you ever find yourself monitoring
and limiting your behavior and speech in meetings and
activist settings because you don't want’ to
take up too much space or dominate the group? Are
you aware of the fact that women do this all the
time?
16. Do you pay attention to group process
and consensus building in groups or do you tend
to dominate and take charge (maybe without even
realizing it)?
Sexual/Romantic
Relationships and Issues
17. Do you make jokes
or negative comments about the sex lives of women or
sex work?
18. Can you only show affection and be
loving to your partner in front of friends and family
or only in private?
19. Do you discuss the
responsibility for preventing contraception
and getting STD screening prior to sexual contact?
20. Do you repeatedly ask or plead with women
for what you want in sexual situations? Are you
aware that unless this is a mutually consented
upon scenario/game that this is considered a form of
coercion?
21. During sex, do you pay attention
to your partner’s face and body language to see if
she is turned on? Engaged, or just lying there?
Do you ask a woman who she wants during sex? What
turns her on?
22. Do you ask for consent?
23. Do you know if your partner has a sexual
abuse, rape, or physical abuse history?
24.
Do you stay with your partner in a relationship for
comfort and security? Sex? Financial or emotional
caretaking? If you’re not completely happy or "in
love" with your partner anymore? Even though you don’t
think it will ultimately work out? Because you’re
afraid or unable to be alone? Do you suddenly end
relationships when a "new" or "better" woman
comes along?
25. Do you jump from
relationship to relationship? Overlap them? Or do you
take space and time for yourself in between each
relationship to reflect on the relationship and your
role in it? Do you know how to be alone? How to be
single?
26. Do you cheat on your partners?
27. If your girlfriend gets on your case for
patriarchal behavior or wants to try to work on the
issues of patriarchy in your relationship, do you
creak up with her or cheat on her and find another woman
who will put up with your shit?
28. Do
you agree to romantic commitment and responsibility and
then back out of these situations?
29. Do
you understand menstruation?
30. Do you make fun
of women or write them off as "PMS-ING?"
Friendship Questions
31. Do you tend to
set the standard and plans for fun or do you
work with the others in the group, including women to
see what they want to do?
32. Do you talk to
your female friends about things you don't talk
to your male friends about especially emotional
issues?
33. Do you constantly fall in love with
your female friends Are you friends with women
until you find out that they are not in love with you
too and then end the friendships? Are you only
friends with women who are in monogamous or committed
relationships with other people?
34. Do you come
on to your female friends even jokingly?
35. Do
you only talk to your female friends (and not your male
friends) about your romantic relationships or
problems in those relationships?
36. Do you
find yourself only attracted to "Anarcho-Crusty Punk
Barbie", Alterna-Grrrl Barbie," or Hardcore-Grrrl
Barbie?" (The idea here being that the only women you
arc attracted to fit mainstream beauty
standards but just dress and do their hair
alternatively and maybe have piercings and tattoos)
Do you question and challenge your internalized ideals
of mainstream beauty ideals for women?
37.
Have you ever heard of or discussed "sizeism" and do you
think it is low on the oppression scale?
38.
Are you aware of the fact that ALL WOMEN, even women in
radical communities, live under the CONSTANT
PRESSURE and OPPRESSION of mainstream
patriarchal beauty standards?
39. Are you
aware of the fact that many women in radical
communities have had and are currently dealing with
eating disorders?
40. Do you make fun of
"model-types" or "mainstream" women for
their appearance?
Domestic/Household
Questions
41. When was the last time you walked
into your house, noticed that something was
misplaced/dirty/etc. AND did something about it (didn’t
just walk by it, over it, away from it or leave a
nasty note about it) even if it wasn’t your chore or
responsibility?
42. Are you constantly amazed by
the magical "food fairy" who
mysteriously acquires food, brings it home, puts
it away, prepares it in meal form and then cleans up
afterwards?
43. Do you contribute equally to
domestic life and work?
44. How many of the
following activities do you contribute to in
your home (this is a partal list of what it takes to
run a household): A: Sweep and mop floors and clean
carpets B: Wash and put away dishes C: Clean
stove, countertops, sinks and appliances if they are
messy and each time after you have prepared food
D: Collect money, do food shopping, put away food
and make meals for people you live with E: Do
house laundry (kitchen towels, bathroom hand towels,
washable rugs, etc.) F: Clean up common room
spaces, even if it’s not your chore G: Pick up
other’s slack H: Deal with garbage, recycling, and
compost I: Take care of bills, rent, utilities
J: Deal with the landscaping and gardening K:
Clean bathrooms and make sure bathroom is clean after
you use it L: Feed, clean up after, and take care of
housepets
Children & Childcare
45.
Do you spend time with kids? If you do, do you spend
time with children (yours or anyone's) in a way
that is gendered? (do certain things with boys and
other things with girls?
46. If you are a
father, do you CO-parent your children? (Spend
equal time AND energy AND effort AND money to raise
them)?
47. Do you make childcare a priority? (at
both activist events and in daily life)
48.
Do you help make the lives of single mothers in your
life and community easier by finding out if and
how you can assist?
49. Have you politicized
your ideas about child rearing and parenthood radical
communities? Do you believe that individuals who are in
the movement have children or that the movement
has children?
Multi-Category Questions:
50. When was the last time you showed a woman
how to do a task rather than doing it for her and
assuming she couldn’t do it?
51. When was the
last time you asked a woman to show you how to do
a task?
52. Do you get emotional needs met by
other women, whether or not you are in a romantic
relationship with them? Or do you cultivate
caring, nurturing relationships with other men in
which you can discuss your feelings and get your
needs met by them?
53. If a woman discusses with
you or calls you out on your patriarchy, do you make
an effort to be emotionally present? Listen? Not
emotionally shut down? Not get defensive? Think
about what she said? Admit you fucked up? Take
responsibility/make reparations for the mistakes you
made? Discuss your feelings and ideas with her?
Apologize? Work harder on your own shit to make sure
that you don’t make the same mistakes again with
her or other women?
54. Do you look inside
yourself to find out why you fucked up in
these relationships and work to both change your
behavior and be a better anti-patriarchy ally in
the future?
55. Do you organize regular house
meetings or activist meetings to resolve conflict
in the house/group?
56. Do you use intimidation,
yelling, getting in someone’s physical
space, threats or violence to get your point
across? Do you create and atmosphere or violence
around women or others to threaten them (i.e.: throw
things, break things, yell and scream, threaten,
attack, tease or terrorize the animals or pets of
women in your life)?
57. Do you physically,
psychologically, or emotionally abuse women?
58.
Do the women in your life (mothers, sisters, partners,
housemates, friends, etc.) have to "remind" you or
"nag" you or "yell" at you in order for you to get
off your ass and take care of your
responsibilities?
59. Do you talk to
other men about patriarchy and your part in it?
60. When was the last time you thought about or
talked about any of these issues other than after
reading this questionnaire?
Scoring: ALL MEN
need to work on issues of patriarchy, sexism and
misogyny. However, this questionnaire may point
out to you areas of particular focus or concentration
for your own
anti-patriarchal/sexist/misogynist process and
development.
The following comments are
owned by whomever posted them. This site is not responsible
for what they say.
comment by count rockula
Authored by: Anonymous on Friday, November 23 2001 @ 01:33 PM
PST
I have some other questions that
could be added...this is in now way directed at or intended to
insult the people who wrote it, at all, but these are some
things i've for a long time noticed about quite a few guys who fancy
themselves "leftists"...
1.) are you really into being a
"nice boy"? do you like to act really sensitive, especially around
women?
2.) are you more interested and concerned with women
and girls liking you, thinking you're a feminist, and/or getting
crushes on you, than you are in challenging patriarchy and
sexism?
3.) does your idea of "free love" actually mean
"sexual conquest", no matter how nicely you try to present it to the
world, and to yourself?
4.) do you criticize and refrain from
engaging in typical macho posturing in favour of more subtle, and
less easily identifiable forms of aggression? does your machismo,
sexism, and patriarchal thinking manifest itself in other ways
such as, passive aggression, being condescending, being
manipulative, actively pursuing women who are already in exclusive
relationships [refer to question #3], taking every opportunity
you can to call other men on their sexism and patriarchal
thinking?
also, if confronted on this, do you resort to
accusations of machismo and "typical male behaviour" on the part of
the man raising these issues with you?
5.) [race, class, and
gender] do you spend loads of time criticizing other subcultures
[for example hip hop] for sexism and patriarchal attitudes , without
looking too much into how fucked up punk, emo, and hardcore
are?
6.) when in the company of others, do you force yourself
to become indignant around issues of sexism, patriarchy and
homophobia?
Authored by: Anonymous on Saturday, November 24 2001 @ 09:55 AM
PST
Scoring: ALL MEN need to work on
issues of patriarchy, sexism and misogyny. *********
So
if matriarchy were the dominant trend, then ALL WOMEN would need to
work on issues of matriarchy, sexism and misogyny?
I object.
Are men born with their heads full of patriarchical sexist
misogynist ideas? No. Neither are women(womyn for pc
considerations), and yet there's plenty of patriarchical sexist
misogynist women as well as men in this patriarchical sexist
misogynist culture. But too, there are women and men who escaped the
programming, either by their own initiative or by the words and
actions of those who were central to these men and women's formative
years of childhood.
SO, it is inaccurate to make a blanket
statements- "ALL men" or "All womyn." Divisive as well. There exist
cultures that are not patriarchical or matriarchical sexist and
misogynist. Cultures consisting of both women and men. So the
culture is the source of trouble, not the gender of the people
involved.
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, November 25 2001 @ 09:32 AM
PST
while i appreciate that the
author(s) of the so-called questionnaire took the time to catalog a
whole bunch of mundane problems that are based in sexist and
partriarchal thinking/programming, i find it insulting and
authoritarian to formulate so-called questions with the desired or
correct answers implicit in them. of the sixty original questions, i
found only two that i thought were actually good ones. "#4. If a
woman asks your opinion, do you assume she must not know anything
about the subject?" is an excellent question; this is where the
so-called questionnaire excels--in the more subtle forms of sexism.
also #23: "Do you know if your partner has a sexual abuse, rape, or
physical abuse history?" this again is an excellent question, since
it didn't do what the other questions do--there's no implicit
desired answer that goes along with it. the more salient question
is: how does it make you feel to know that your partner has such a
history? what are you doing about it in your relationship? are you
sensitive to post-traumatic stress that can be triggered by
similarities in situations that you may find yourselves in? as for
the questions about living situations and sharing tasks, i had to
laugh and cry about the nightmare housemates the author(s) must have
had or currently have. kick those losers out of your house for
bakunin's sake! and way to go count rockula; those follow-ups are
great.
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, November 25 2001 @ 09:30 PM
PST
some very important questions. will
no doubt ruffle a few too-unruffled feathers.
so it's too
bad there's also some implicit sexism. for instance, questions
24 thru 26 are things EVERYONE should be asking themselves. to
imply that men are the only ones who get dependent, manipulative,
or unfaithful in relationships is fucking absurd.
Authored by: Anonymous on Monday, November 26 2001 @ 01:15 PM
PST
I find it rather obsurd that a
great deal of the replies to this piece don't understand feminism in
the least, nor the problems they are trying to solve. Instead of
taking it and saying "yes, these are some problems that are
occuring" most of the replies have been defensive, saying "well men
aren't the only ones..blah blah blah". Read some feminist theory and
history and think on it if you see yourself reacting to this piece
in much the same manner. Feminism is trying to expose a systematic
problem called Patriarchy, some of its symptoms are included in this
questionaire, the reason these symptoms take the shape they do is
not exposed in this piece, primarily because it was designed for
readers already familiar with some aspects of feminism in the
activist community.
Women are treated as inferiors in
society, but not in the same way that workers or racial minorities
are. Their appearances are objectified, they are demeaned to
performing domestic "kleggish" (undesirable work), and exploited
economically when in the workplace. They are looked at as weak,
unintelligent, and helpless by patriarchical society. To say that
you value women as equals means little when you still contribute to
the social structures that hold women down.
Authored by: Anonymous on Wednesday, August 07 2002 @ 09:40 AM
PDT
What an absolute load of
crap!
Did have a chuckle though, nothing like listening to
the rantings of spoiled, middle and upper class Daddy's girls
whining about how oppressed they are.
Hah!
This
so-called "questionaire" is nothing more than a misandrist,
condescending pile of feminasti crap!
However wrote this sure
has one big sense of themselves - what, they think every man on the
planet should tip-toe around women so we don't offend them in any
way.
Tell you what, you want equality - that means you get
the good and the bad - and we all know feminism wants all the
fighter pilot jobs, CEO and everything else but is still content to
let the men be the garbage pickers, sewer workers and
miners.
What a load of crap - you want equality - you get to
be told to go "f*ck yourself" just like the rest of the
world.
Hahaha - what a typical load of North American, middle
and upper class white girl feminist whining - "Daddy, my BMW broke
down and the nasty mechanic was mean to me and I can't afford to pay
because I'm exploited! Help me! Whaaa!"
Ohhh feminism, it
brings me such joy to laugh at what a ridiculous lot of crazies it
attracts and the crap that they actually come up with and
believe!
Authored by: Anonymous on Saturday, August 17 2002 @ 04:29 AM
PDT
You are truly ignorant. This is
exposing some paradigms that women are often the victim of within
the activist community and beyond. Everything you've said is
bullshit dismissing problems that real people often face, which you
obviously aren't a victim of, otherwise you would have a different
tone to your writing.
Authored by: Anonymous on Friday, April 25 2003 @ 06:38 PM
PDT
Hey its not all white girl
nonsense. Im a guy I totally agree with all of this. The intolerant
comments are just proof of whow much we as a movement need to work
on these social problems. There was a few on there I need to work on
myself under the friends section. I appreciate this post and its
well rounded. To that hatemonger biggot Phranky, open your mind or
shut your mouth!
Authored by: Anonymous on Tuesday, May 06 2003 @ 12:30 AM
PDT
"nothing more than a misandrist,
condescending pile of feminasti crap!"
Yeah, we already
learned about that feminazi thing in the questionnaire, but what is
'misandrist'? I suppose you mean misanthropist? How amusing that
'man-hater' actually means 'human-hater'! Are women a lesser
species, then?
Authored by: Anonymous on Wednesday, November 26 2003 @ 10:40
AM PST
I tink there should be a test like
this one called:
Are you a Feminazi?
Don't get me
wrong. Liberation - and that includes fem liberation, of course - is
the highest goal I aspire to, but personally I think many of the
womyn out there are doing just as crappy a job as the men.
I
have seen, read and met so many maternalistic, commandeering,
unrelenting, peevish and generally violently frustrated
self-appointed feminists, that I have to say I am glad they are not
on my side.
The again, all kinds of sickos of male gender
claim to preserve my interests as a man (oh yes, I have that
unfortunate genetic defect of one Y chromosome) and I don't want any
of them on my side either, because I have no interests "as a man"
only as an inhabitant of this planet and member of a certain species
quite generally.
I wish those self appointed liberators of
their gender would concentrate on liberating all of that terran
species instead of a one-sided approach where many protagonists act
like they would like to "finally get their turn at the helm" or
"show to the men that womyn can rule the world just as well",
because any syste of predominance will inevitably create suffering.
The men alive today are not responsible for the instigation
of patriarchy, so why should they have to pay for the failings of
their fathers while they could be allies for the cause?
What
is it we want? Womyn being allowed to equally exploit our planet's
resources? To equally subjugate others for their personal gain? To
equally make it big in business, politics, the military or the
different religious institutions? To equally die in wars, rape,
burn, pillage and kill? Or do we want to achieve a more highly
developed form of social community life together? Personally I
have seen in the relations I have with womyn, that living, loving
and working together on an equal basis is not only the correct but
also the most feasible way of doing things. I am glad that there are
after all some men and womyn out there who can do that, and none of
them call themselves feminists, and many of them for the same reason
I wouldn't either.
It is a good thing that many womyn have
collectively learned over time that they do not have to follow the
lead of men anymore because they can be the forgers of their own
destiny. Now - IMHO - the time has come to realize, that neither
of us has to follow the lead of womyn either.
None of us
should have to step back. We should all take a step forward, and
another, and so forth. Many are on that path already. Why not join
for a common future?
Authored by: Anonymous on Friday, July 02 2004 @ 05:14 AM
PDT
talk about missing the
point.
this questionnaire is not a competition - you noticed
there are no points to award??
the first point of the
questions is to analyse your own honest responses. What do you feel,
why do you feel it, what influences you? sit quietly and think about
each question/answer for a few minutes.
the second point of
the questions is to demonstrate how many 'little' things are an
everyday kick in the face. nothing here is a 'poor me' - every
single question is based on a thousand actual experiences each woman
has.
Authored by: Anonymous on Sunday, October 10 2004 @ 12:18 AM
PDT
i filled out the quiz on the
crimethinc boards in March 04
ARE YOU A MANARCHIST
QUESTIONNAIRE General Questions:
I. Passive-Aggressive
Patriarchy: i do sometimes act as tho im in need emotional
supporter mom type.
B) "Aggressive Patriarchy: i often
take charge
2. i often feel "we have to go through this
again? im trying my goddamn hardest to make everything good for
everyone and all that happens is people keep pointing out how much
im not doing. fuck this is going to be fun"
5. i sometimes
believe that people have "natural characteristics" which are
Inherent in our humanity such as "passive," "sweet," "caring,"
"nurturing," "considerate," "generous," "weak," or "emotional", but
also the "opposites" which compliments these traits aswell.
6. i see what i dont like and try to keep that in mind when
i interact with folks
7. yes!
8. i talk to my
friends often about sexism and patriarchy but im not quite sure they
really listen
Activism Questions
9. Bah! now we come
into an iffy question. im all for identifying however you wish, but
thats it- "man" as it is traditionally construed doesnt suit me. i
dont like it so i try to avoid using sex to describe certain things.
come on! lets be gendernull
10. what a silly question.
sorry. i wont attack anymore.
11. no
12. yes i do
it, yes i am aware, yes i make a big deal about it, no my friends
(who identify as women or men) dont give a damn.
13. safe
and comfortable for everyone!!! i see it like this: i identify
as queer. make it safe for queer folks, but then this also connects
to womyn, folks of colour, older folks, and everyone else.
14. we try to set up programs that would be interesting to
women and those that love them.
15. yes i do, but i think we
all need to learn to speak. i find when we offer time to others to
speak, nothing gets said. im serious. long three minutes of us
(grrls and boisand inbetween) trying to get others to share. all
folks are afraid to share. its depressing.
16. we dont
really go on concensus. we do as we please. we find that that way,
no one has to lay down what they want just cause someone else doesnt
want it.
Sexual/Romantic Relationships and Issues
17. no.
18. both, but i need a partner first.
19. duh!?
20. i think the questions are getting
goofy again.
21. lol. my god. its like asking to do pay
attention to the food on the stove while yer cooking it? of course
you do!
22. no, im too afraid usually to even get that close
23. when i've had partners, i've known
24. this is
implying that all relationships are for the same things. they arent.
25. i ..well.. all of them, and none of them. depends on if
im with someone or not.
26. what do you define as cheating?
lie to them? no.
27. lol oh of course! no. im usually the
one that brings up patriarchy, and wouldnt you know it, its
sometimes seen as me being weak.
28. if i want to back out,
then i would back out no matter.
29. sometimes.
30.
sure i make fun of my friends. but not just for being womyn. and i
do believe i know when to stop and what to make fun of, and when.
i tend to be "silly" in my comedy so the making fun of is
usually irrelevant.
Friendship Questions
31. i ask
around, then if no one wants to do what im doing, and i dont want to
do what they are doing, then we just do our own things. why be
chained to someone elses fun?
32. yes. i find the men i talk
to evade talks like this, as if they dont know how to talk, or they
arent allowed to.
33. yes. i constantly fall in love with
your female friends. i constantly fall in love with strangers too!
34. yeah right. it is scary enough to look them in the eye
sometimes.
35. generally. i have more female friends so this
kinda flawed for balance.
36. i like frumpy librarian types.
wallflowers. they rule my world. we can sit and be shy together.
37. i dont think ive heard of it, but i might be able to get
what it is. breast size or penis size or height or "yer too fat"ism?
38. yeah, if they accept those ideals as ideals.
39.
sure! arent we all? come on, radical womyn arent all mothers (<--
superwomyn. and so no one gets offended, my main example is my
mother. try as you might, but shes the best woman on earth. beat
that sucka!)
40. i dont think i make fun of it, but question
it. its kindof ugly. bones are for dead folk.
Domestic/Household Questions
41. a long time ago. my
house is maintained by everyone that lives here. i have lower
standards than everyone so i think my areas tend to be messier. that
also means that i rarely notice the "mess".
42. i am. i
never knew i was such a good cook. and the dumpster been providin'
lately.
43. no.
44. clean carpets, Wash and put away
dishes, Clean stove, countertops, sinks and appliances, do food
getting, put away food and make meals for people you live with (most
won't eat it but yeah i offer) sometimes i Clean up common room
spaces, even if it's not your chore, Pick up others slack (only when
it comes to the kitchen or the bathroom) Deal with garbage,
recycling, Deal with the landscaping and gardening, Clean bathrooms
and make sure bathroom is clean after you use it
Children
& Childcare
47. i understand it, but usually over look
it.
48. my mum. i bring home the nonmeat bacon!
49.
sure.. but not like normal "has children". i think its a little
different. more respect.
Multi-Category Questions:
50. the other day my friend laura had to check her mail. i
told her how to do it as she did it. "you can catch a person a fish,
and you'll feed them for a day, but you can teach them how, and
you've fed them for life"
51. im going trainhopping for the
first time and a woman is going to teach me!!!
52. sure. i
get emotional needs met by other women, whether or not i'm in a
romantic relationship with them. deary, i try my damndest to
cultivate caring, nurturing relationships with other men in which
you can discuss your feelings and get your needs met by them, but i
think most men are fraid of the homo's, or im just to shy to talk to
them.
53. i do make an effort to be emotionally present, to
Listen, to Not emotionally shut down. i do get defensive, i do Think
about what she said, i dont always Admit you fucked up, if i feel i
need to, i Take responsibility/make reparations for the mistakes i
made. i definately Discuss my feelings and ideas with her. sometimes
i Apologize, and Work harder on my own shit to make sure that i dont
make the same "mistakes" again with her or other people.
54.
yes i look inside myself to find solutions to all oppression.
55. no, not really. within my house im not usually a part of
it. i am sidelined to it all. i dont feel comfortable with everyone.
in activist cases, if there is a problem, it is dealt with
immediately as opposed to waiting to take care of it.
56.
no.
57. no.
58. my mum sometimes has to nag me, but
thats it.
59. i talk to other men about patriarchy and our
part in it
all, but these are some things i've for a long time noticed about quite a few guys who fancy themselves "leftists"...
1.) are you really into being a "nice boy"? do you like to act really sensitive, especially around women?
2.) are you more interested and concerned with women and girls liking you, thinking you're a feminist, and/or getting crushes on you, than
you are in challenging patriarchy and sexism?
3.) does your idea of "free love" actually mean "sexual conquest", no matter how nicely you try to present it to the world, and to yourself?
4.) do you criticize and refrain from engaging in typical macho posturing in favour of more subtle, and less easily identifiable forms of aggression? does your machismo, sexism, and patriarchal thinking manifest itself in
other ways such as, passive aggression, being condescending, being manipulative, actively pursuing women who are already in exclusive
relationships [refer to question #3], taking every opportunity you can to call other men on their sexism and patriarchal thinking?
also, if confronted on this, do you resort to accusations of machismo and "typical male behaviour" on the part of the man raising these issues with you?
5.) [race, class, and gender] do you spend loads of time criticizing other subcultures [for example hip hop] for sexism and patriarchal attitudes , without looking too much into how fucked up punk, emo, and hardcore are?
6.) when in the company of others, do you force yourself to become indignant around issues of sexism, patriarchy and homophobia?